Lavender Blueprint Community

You're not the only one
redesigning this.

Thousands of people are somewhere on this journey — leaving performance, finding alignment, building partnerships that actually fit who they are. Find yours.

Join the CommunityFind your stage
14k+
Community members
5
Journey stages
80M+
Views on the conversation
Live
Group coaching cohorts

What this is

The Lavender Blueprint

The Lavender Blueprint is the framework for people who have realized that traditional marriage — and its assumptions about attraction, sexuality, and partnership — doesn't fit them.

It was built from real experience. Marty Thomas spent 17 years performing a life that looked right from the outside. A Fortune 50 career. A conventional marriage. The whole thing. When he finally told his wife the truth — on a December night in Scottsdale — it wasn't the end of their relationship. It was the beginning of something they actually designed.

This community exists because that kind of redesign is possible — and because you shouldn't have to figure it out alone.

Lavender marriages
Committed partnerships built on values and agreements, not sexual chemistry
Platonic co-parenting
Intentional family-building with someone who shares your values, not necessarily your bed
Companionate partnerships
Deep life partnership — shared home, finances, future — without romantic expectation
Strategic partnerships
Marriage as a deliberate structure for mutual support, goals, and legacy

Where are you?

Five stages of the journey

Everyone enters at a different stage. Find yours and connect with people who are exactly where you are.

STAGE 012.4k members

Awakening

Something doesn't fit.

STAGE 023.1k members

Disclosure

Telling the truth changes everything.

STAGE 034.8k members

Redesign

Partnership is something you design.

STAGE 042.2k members

Building

Creating the life you actually want.

STAGE 051.9k members

Thriving

Living proof that it works.

In the App

Find people at your exact stage

The LLMA app matches you with people in the same stage of the Lavender Blueprint — not just similar values, but similar timing. Someone to talk to who actually gets where you are right now.

Stage filter
Browse people at your exact stage or nearby stages
Values alignment
Match on what matters — family, finances, faith, lifestyle
Partnership type
Filter by what you're actually building
Find your people

Guided work

Group coaching cohorts

Small groups, real structure, real outcomes. Not a course — a container for actual change.

3 spots left

Disclosure Readiness

with Marty Thomas  ·  4 weeks · Live group calls · 8 people max

For people who know they need to have the conversation but aren't ready. We build the language, the boundaries, and the courage — together.

Apply in App
Next cohort: July

Partnership Redesign Lab

with Marty Thomas  ·  6 weeks · Workshop format · 12 people max

For couples or individuals actively redesigning their relationship structure. Real frameworks, real agreements, real outcomes.

Apply in App
Open

Solo Into Partnership

with Community Coach  ·  4 weeks · Peer learning · Open enrollment

For single people building their intentional partnership from scratch. Values mapping, profile building, and peer accountability.

Apply in App

How this community works

This isn't social media. It's designed for real conversations that actually move people forward.

Stage-gated conversations
Threads are organized by where you are. No performance, no comparison — just people at the same point in the journey.
Anonymous until you're not
Participate fully without your name attached until you choose otherwise. Your story is yours.
No advice from the cheap seats
You can only give advice in a stage you've been through. No one who hasn't done disclosure coaching others on it.
Moderated by people in it
Community moderators are members themselves — people living non-traditional partnerships, not outside observers.

Partnership is something
you design.

Start with honesty. Build with intention. Find people who are doing the same.

Download LLMARead the 5 Truths